Happy Birthday, Little Boy

Dear Little Boy,

Mommy’s told you how often daddy and I asked God to give you to our family, and three years ago this week, you entered our world. We had been missing you and waiting for you for a very long time, and so had so many other loving friends and family members.

Our friends gave lots of parties for you before you arrived, and we had blue balloons at happy parties, and we ate blue cake on blue plates with little blue napkins and opened blue gift bags stuffed with blue paper that mommy still uses for wrapping up your birthday presents today. You have been loved by us and those around you since before your birth.

Mommy’s tummy started to grow, and it was hard to believe that we were really going to have a baby. When they told us, “It’s a boy,” your mommy cried joy, and your daddy smiled misty-eyed very proud.

Mommy started reading everything and anything about being a mommy. When I would start to get scared and feel “not ready,” I’d just go open my books to re-read how your birth would take place, how to feed you, when to bathe you, and how to schedule your sleep, and then I’d feel much more prepared. I told everyone where I expected them to be and when they could come and how long they could stay.

And then you took your time as your due date slipped by.

And giving birth to a big boy like you was not what mommy’s textbooks had described. But finally, just a few hours before Valentine’s Day began, you came on out. The neonatal intensive care nurses were dismissed, as God had protected and preserved you through that bumpy ride into this world.

Your daddy held you so confidently as he smiled at me, so grateful for God’s gift of you. Your aunts jumped and clapped with joy, and your grandparents held you so tenderly. You were absolutely beautiful, and we were stunned and thrilled that you were finally in our arms.

And then, after a few days, they sent us home, and I told your daddy I didn’t think I knew what I was doing well enough to be able to take care of you. But all you wanted to do was eat, so I fed you. And fed you. And fed you.

Night and day, and especially night, I fed you. And, thankfully, you grew and grew and grew.

Your daddy and I don’t remember much else about that sleep-deprived year, but at some point the next February, your first birthday crept up on us. I took you for your 1 year check up, and I told the pediatrician, “I kept him alive!” And he said that was very good.

So at your first birthday party, since I don’t think you had ever had sugar, I homemade your little organic, honey-sweetened cupcake and didn’t feed you any of the “real” cake the rest of us were eating.

The next month you started to walk. And run!

And then you started blabbering, and once the words came, we haven’t been able to stop you.

Last year on your second birthday, you cried because I tried to make you come play with me in the snow, and I was taking video, telling you how much fun this was, and daddy laughed at us both.

And now you don’t toddle any more. And you don’t want me to hold and rock you. And you sleep all night …. well, most of the time. And we can’t have a single secret in the world, because you’ll tell everyone, from the grocery clerk to the pastor to your grandparents.

But you still have those chubby arms and dimpled hands and elbows that wrap around my neck to hug me good night. And you pat my face and tell me it will be okay when I’ve spent all day every day on the couch with morning sickness for months. And when we told you why mommy was sick and that God had answered your prayers to be a big brother, you pointed at mommy and exclaimed loudly to daddy, “There’s a baby in my mother!”

And I cry and pray and try so hard to explain to you about God and His love for you. And you misunderstand and make us laugh with your Bible stories that begin with Adam and Eve on an Ark with Jesus and end somewhere on the Island of Sodor with Thomas and all his friends. And then you surprise us with what you DO know and what God is revealing in your little heart and mind.

Little boy, I will not cease to pray for you, that God will open your heart to understand the gospel. Until God takes me home, I will beg him to rescue your soul and cleanse you from sin through the blood of His own Son.

Today as I celebrate and rejoice in your birth three years ago, I pray for that second birth to come soon. May you trust in Jesus as your Savior as God draws you to Himself. The celebration on that day will fill not only mommy’s heart, but also the heavens in such a way that your first birth is simply a humble shadow of that eternal one.

And now, your mommy had better go get busy and mix up that sugary chocolate icing to spread over that vanilla cake you requested. And since you no longer “buy it” that plain, unsweetened, non-homogenized Jersey cow yogurt is the same as mommy’s ice cream fix, I’ll indulge that Breyer’s ice cream craving this birthday, because you certainly get it honest.

Happy birthday, little boy. Your mommy and daddy love you so much.

With all my heart,
Mommy

{This post is happily shared at Mom 2 Mom Monday!}