When our perspective on relationships is rooted in the gospel, true friendship can blossom.
Have you ever “written off” a friendship with a new acquaintance, assuming she could never “get” you? I know I have. I desire to spare myself that sting of rejection that I fear.
But over the last year, God has shown me that those feelings that I have dismissed as my just being a little extra self-conscious are really a stronghold of pride in my life.
I don’t want to admit it, but my insecurities have been a hindrance for sharing in meaningful friendship with others, loving them, receiving love from them, and sharing in ministering to the body of Christ. I often hesitate to “let people in,” wanting sometimes just to “save face” rather than risk rejection.
I tend to forget that we are all in the same boat:
Every single woman is a sinner and is desperately wicked and depraved. She does not desire God or good apart from the strong, saving arm of her Almighty Father.
When I believe what God’s word says, the gospel becomes a leveling ground.
I am reminded that we all have different gifts and talents and abilities and even weaknesses, but by looking at relationships through the lens of God’s word, I can look past the surface and know that, just like myself, other women are still in the flesh (in a body), and the fight between their flesh and spirit is a daily battle for them, too — just like it is for me.
By knowing what God’s word says about our nature AND about our God, I can humbly accept other women from the first time I meet them since I know that it’s only by the blood of Jesus that any woman has anything together or can find any peace or grace in this spiritual race. I have no cause to feel intimidated by other women or inadequate (or at all superior, either) — yes, in our feeble frame we are all inadequate! But Jesus Christ is our adequacy (2 Corinthians 3:4-6).
Rooting relationships in the fertile soil of the gospel devastates my pride and widens my understanding to see women as Jesus does.
I’ve written about five principles that I have found are very helpful for me as I pursue friendship with other women. You can read about them here. I hope they encourage you as you seek to build friendship and fellowship that glorifies God and serves His children.
By His grace .. amanda
Dawn says
Yes! Thank you for the encouragement and the reminder. I need to see my friends through God’s eyes, not my own. Thank you for posting this article 🙂