Last summer I was pregnant with our 3rd child. We had miscarried our first (baby Samuel), we had a healthy little boy running around our home, and God had blessed us with another child. At my 12 week checkup with this third pregnancy, however, there was no heartbeat. Due to various reasons, we had to have a D & C, and it of course took me a couple of days to recover.
The next week it seemed that I “woke up” and realized what had just happened. We had lost our little baby (baby Joy), and I had to face God all over again with my pain and heartache. I pulled out a book by C. S. Lewis that my brother had given me (the book had, Providentially, been a Christmas gift the week before we miscarried our first child), as the message therein had been a source of great comfort to me after our first miscarriage. I preached to myself again the gospel and the words that had comforted me 2 1/2 years earlier after our first loss. I began to recount to myself what God had done and where God had brought me. The words I wrote then are recorded below.. ♥
{date written: Aug 22, 2013 (the week after our 2nd miscarriage)}
“How often — will it be for always? — how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, ‘I never realized my loss till this moment?’ …. The first plunge of the knife into the flesh is felt again and again.” C. S. Lewis in “A Grief Observed.”
There is a death, of sorts, in the path of infertility. It involves the loss of dreams, plans, and hopes. You spend abundant emotional and spiritual energy, thousands upon thousands of dollars, and time. So much time. Days and weeks cycle into months and then years. The term “emotional rollercoaster” seems inadequate and trite for the pain and sense of grief and loss that a couple can experience during these months and years.
I am so thankful for my season of infertility. I can’t believe I just typed those words.
Days and months and years of face-on-the-ground kind of praying and sleepless nights.
So much invasion of privacy, coupled with charting and temperatures and medication and bloodwork…..month after month, that creeped and crawled into years.
Infertility procedures, surgery, and countless ultrasounds and scans to explore and delve into “What’s causing this?”
And pregnancy test after pregnancy test after pregnancy test. Negative, negative, and…..negative. For years.
And then, in my case, a positive pregnancy test. It was one week before Christmas. I was in shock! I remember praying Hannah’s prayer from 1 Samuel 2 when I found out I was pregnant, kneeling in worship before the Father.
We lost this baby to heaven the next month. From my journal the week we lost our baby…
For several months, I grieved and battled within myself. I remember telling the Lord that if I didn’t know Him so well, I would not have been so hurt and angry with Him.
But I DID know Him, and I DID know without a doubt that He had given this life to my womb knowing all the while that I would be brought to the highest high in my life, only to crash and be utterly broken within weeks. He gave me this Samuel-baby, knowing that He would soon take this baby home to be with Him and that it would break our hearts.
{date written: Aug 24, 2013}
“As for God, His way is perfect.” Psalm 18:30
I realized several days after the loss of our first baby that I believed and breathed and prayed and repeated this verse in a way I had never understood or believed before. “God’s way is perfect” became my declaration of sorts, both to myself and to those around me. It seemed a strange anthem from the broken-hearted, childless mother, but it was a truth about God to which I could cling and at which I could throw and heave my anger, trust, confusion, emptiness, and pain.
Once, at a point in Jesus’s ministry when many of His disciples withdrew and were not walking with Him anymore, Jesus asked the twelve, “You do not want to go away also, do you?” And Simon Peter answered the Lord Jesus, saying:
“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life. We have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God.”
Have you ever felt this way? Friend, the LORD is God, and there is no other (Isaiah 45:5).
I did not like the path that God had chosen for me.
I did not like that He took my 20’s and exchanged them with barrenness.
I did not like that He took my baby.
But I had nowhere else to go. I had no one else to turn to but God because the buck stops with Him.
Sister, He could have healed your infertility, He could have saved your child, and He could have never given you this path of tears and emptiness and a broken heart. But He did give it to you, and you have to go to Him with your pain and brokenness.
Do you lack faith? Do you not believe? Is your faith so small that you don’t know if it’s even alive at all? Are there no words for prayer, no more tears for crying?
Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Ask for faith and ask to believe. It is your only hope and He is the only Savior. You must go to Him and cast, throw, heave all your hurt and pain and struggles upon Him. Cast it all upon Him, because, my friend, He cares for you.
During the months following our first miscarriage, I often preached to myself the Gospel. God loved me and sent His Son to die for my sins. Christ Jesus died upon the cross. He was buried and then He rose again on the third day. He ascended to heaven. He is coming back to make all things new.
Recount to your soul the Gospel message and pray for grace to trust Him more. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Listen to music that focuses on the Gospel and the cross. Pour out your heart to Him, tell Him all your pain and troubles. There were times I struggled to pray, not having desire to pray and not even knowing what to say to God. Often, I just read through the Psalms and underlined words that I offered up to God in grief and a cry for help.
Do you know what will happen when you seek Him with all your heart? Here is something else that I have learned about the character of God. In Isaiah 61, we find that God is a God who binds up the brokenhearted. He comforts those who mourn. Do you know what He gives to those who have nothing left but ashes and mourning? He gives them a garland and the oil of gladness. He will exchange your spirit of fainting and heaviness with a mantle of praise. He will let you share in bringing Him glory, my friend.
Your pain will not go away entirely until God does away with death forever. Some days the pain will hit you anew, but remember to run to the Comforter and draw near with confidence to the throne of grace to receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
May I leave you with the passage that I believe God gave me during this time of grief and heartbreak, a time when I did not FEEL His presence and questioned His love and care? In Isaiah 43, God promises the people of Israel that, although they will be sent into exile to a foreign land and walk through great pain and death and suffering, He loves them and is their Redeemer and will bring them back to the land flowing with milk and honey.
But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel,
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; You are mine!
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you.
For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I have given Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in your place.
Since you are precious in my sight,
Since you are honored and I love you,
I will give other men in your place and other peoples in exchange for your life.
Do not fear, for I am with you;
I will bring your offspring from the east, and gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth,
Everyone who is called by My name, and whom I have created for My glory,
whom I have formed, even whom I have made.“
With much love…
amanda
Resources and Links
..Additional resources regarding grief, infertility, and pregnancy loss can be found here at Bless Your Heart and Home.
..A song for the brokenhearted: “Though You Slay Me,” by Shane and Shane, and featuring John Piper.
..If you are grieving infertility or loss of a pregnancy, you may find this newsletter encouraging during this season of your life: Bethany’s Stepping Stones e-newsletter. I looked forward to receiving every copy and was greatly ministered to by the content they offered.
..I memorized scripture using this scripture memory plan by Dr. Andrew Davis: An Approach to Extended Memorization of Scripture. I believed that God was leading me to memorize more scripture in 2010 during a season right before we first got pregnant. Little did I know the encouragement and hope that the scripture memory would be in my life as God applied the promises and truths from the book of Philippians to my heart during our first miscarriage.
..A couple of years into our dealing with infertility, I was invited to join a Precept Upon Precept study of the book of Isaiah. It changed my life. If you ever have the opportunity to join this study (or any Precept Bible study!), I hope that you are as encouraged and fed by the word of God as I have been learning to study the Bible inductively through Precept Ministries.
..Hope for the Woman Going Through Infertility, a guest post for The Purposeful Mom blog on Six Biblical Truths Regarding Infertility and Pregnancy Loss.
..Yes, God Will Give You More than You Can Handle, by Michael Hidalgo at Relevant Magazine.
..A Grief Observed
..When God Doesn’t Make Sense
..Fernando Ortega’s music, many songs which are available on youtube.com. I own this CD and love it: Shadow of Your Wings
..When the Hurt Runs Deep
{Bless Your Heart and Home is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com}
It is very beneficial for families who are not having children
Thank you so much for this <3 Your heart, open, raw, and pure, is so refreshingly easy to feel and relate to. My heart aches for you, for me, and for every woman and couple out there going through these struggles.
I just published a post detailing my last pregnancy loss (https://mamarissa.com/my-complete-molar-pregnancy-story-pregnant-with-a-tumor/) and I am feeling quite emotional about it. It is different from my miscarriage because with this pregnancy, there was never a baby. It has been incredibly challenging to process at times. But it also hurts. Hurts that God created a tumor instead of a baby in my womb.
This post … It is so encouraging. Thank you so much for opening up your heart. I see King David in your words.
I had miscarriage on September 1st at 4-5 weeks pregnant.It was my first pregnancy.I passes it naturally After the use of Iya herbal medication. i found bout November 14th that i was pregnant again. i conceived almostly 1 month after my miscarriage glory be to God finally i made it with the help of Iya Hindi,I highly recommend Iya Hindi Native to every ladies having issues to conceive to contact.Email, hindinative@yahoo. com ,Call +19145295224 Or,whats app messenger:
I just discovered this blog today as I was searching for comfort in the midst of a great trial. Our family is dealing with a situation that happened a few years ago, unknown to us until recently. The pain of it is so much sometimes I want to and do scream out to God. It hurts worse than childbirth both physically and emotionally. I wonder if I ever will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Thank you for sharing your heart- it is so much what I am going through right now. How can we trust a God that would slay us- and others we love? How do we trust what we cannot see? Those are the questions I am wrestling with God. He crushes us only to bind us up- but I have trouble believing the binding will come- what if He just continues to crush? I think I will be alright, that God will lead me on this path of seeking Truth. I do have hope in future grace where there will be no more pain, no more sorrow, no more tears, no more remembering of the horrors of this life. I look forward to finally being at rest.
Michele,
I am heartbroken for the pain you and your family are walking through, and I am lifting you up to the God of all comfort. He is El Roi, the God who sees, and He Knows, Michele. I continually go back to Peter’s question — to whom (else) should we go? There is no other Savior, and we must entrust ourselves to the God who is faithful. I’ve written some other articles dealing with grief and God’s comfort, and some of them are here: http://www.blessyourheartandhome.com/tag/grief/ I am praying for you and asking God to give you peace and rest. With love and hope..amanda
Hey Amanda,
So glad to have you as a part of our team! Glad also to have the chance to share your post this week. I’m also pinning your pics, and I’ve tried to follow you on all of the channels!
Praying that God will use your story about infertility to encourage many!
Hope you have a blessed week~
Melanie
Melanie Redd recently posted…A Song for Sunday – Our God is Greater! Our God is Stronger!
Melanie, thank you!! Your blog is already a great encouragement to me, and I can’t wait to get to know you better! Thank you for praying that God would use this post to encourage others, as that is my prayer, too. Grace and love in Christ.. amanda
Thank you for writing this. I was supposed to have my first IUI this week and it was canceled day of. My heart is completely broken. I had just happened to read those passages in Isaiah a few days prior to this appointment. I thought it was a sign of hope that maybe God was about to change our circumstances. Not this time. I know in my heart that He is kind, loving, and compassionate… Too wise to make mistakes. But it doesn’t change the fact that it still hurts today. Yet It always helps to know someone who has gone through the same pain and can see that God has brought them through it.
Meredith, I remember that feeling of disappointment when another month passes by without seemingly getting closer to conceiving a child. Draw near to Jesus, and hold on tight to your husband. <3 Whatever the Lord does in and through your family, you do and will have the opportunity to testify to His faithfulness and provision, although right now you may be only seeing very dimly, looking with eyes of faith. While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are unseen...we do not lose heart. I'm praying for you and your husband right now. Love, amanda
Hello Amanda! My name is Amanda too. I felt compelled to leave a comment and let me know the healing balm this blog was to my weary and troubled heart today. What I am about to tell you may surprise you. I have never struggled with infertility. I’ve never had the chance because you see, I’m 49 and I’ve never been married. God’s story for my life has lead me to an elongated season of singleness. It’s not the story I would have written for myself. I have always dreamed of marriage and family. Last year I was in a courted and beautifully romanced by a widowed pastor who professed his love for me and desire to marry me. I thought, “Yeah God! I have waited on you and you have remembered me!” But…the bottom fell out. My heart was shattered when he suddenly pulled away and the truth that he was emotionally unavailable was revealed. Once again, my hope was deferred. But here’s where your blog comes in. I needed to be reminded God allowed this and if He did..it is HIS perfect way. I have had peace that the end of my relationship with the pastor was actually god’s protection but I needed to hear that the pain I’m still struggling with is also under God’s sovereign will and that there are wonderful promises I can did into about his giving me the oil of gladness and personally binding up my heart and drawing near. You are a gifted writer and annointed woman of God and I pray huge blessings over you for your willingness to share your grief and pain to bless others like me!
Amanda, first let me say, thank you for praying for me! Also, your comment really encouraged me. My heart is touched by the pain and struggle you have undergone this last year, and I am really thankful that the Lord brought you to my blog and used it to minister to you. May He continue to make you stand strong and steadfast in His will for you. With love ..amanda
This has blessed and encouraged me tremendously. Thank you!!!
Thank you for letting me know, Desiree! <3
I’m currently struggaling to find God’s grace in the mist of my sorro. Having just yesterday, come to know our 4th round of IUI trying for baby #2didnt take (our DD came after IUI round #1). A friend found and sent me your blog posts on your journey. I havnt made it to the place yet where I have found peice but after reading I know that one day, through Chirst alone, I will, as you have, come to a place where I can. Thank you for sharing.
Dear Kari, my heart is so touched by your heartache and struggle. The Lord didn’t give us children via our IUIs either, and I was so crushed. May the Lord abound to you in grace that you would draw ever nearer to Him, and you have the promise that He will draw near to you (James 4:8). Much love, and thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment here. <3
Amanda, what a beautiful expression of God’s love in your story. I too feel very akin to Hannah as I, at one time, was grief stricken praying to God for a child we had tried for for 5 years. God saw fit to give me my sweet baby girl (Hannah Grace 🙂 18 months ago. I wish I could say I was as sturdy and steadfast as you through my struggle, but what I can say is that I am so thankful God’s faithfulness is not based on ours. He gave us a child for no other reason other than He loves us and delights in us 10 fold the delight He has given us with her. He is so good. Thank you so much for this post.
You are so right! .. God’s faithfulness is not based on ours. Thank you for that encouragement! I’m so grateful that God gave you such a precious gift of little Hannah Grace. I so appreciate your taking time to let me know of God’s working in your life, and may the Lord bless you and give you abundant grace as you raise this little girl. <3
I have lost 3 babies and this is the most encouraging post —full of Truth—I’ve come across. I am giving a talk on this topic to the local homeschool moms group this year. I will be sure to direct people to this blog. Thank you!
Kathryne, I am so sorry for the loss of your three babies, and I am grateful that God used this post to encourage you. Thank you for letting me know, and I am praying right now that the Lord would use you to encourage and minister to the ladies in your home school group this year. <3
I ran across your blog at 4 am this morning when I couldn’t sleep, anxiously awaiting the doctor’s appointment I just returned from. Even before the confirmation, I knew I was having a miscarriage and your post reminded me that God is in control and He is my strength through this unexpected, difficult time. My husband lives in a different state so the truth that God is my source of comfort and strength really hit home for me. In our weakness God is strong, and I am so thankful that He used you to speak to me and give me peace. He is in control and He has a better plan for me than I could ever imagine.
You have such a beautiful spirit! I hope to use this difficult time to bring God the glory and witness to others as well. Thank you again!! ❤
Dear Samantha, I have been praying for you since reading your message yesterday, and I grieve with you. I am so sorry, Samantha, and I offer up tears and prayers on your behalf to the God of grace. May the One Who sacrificed His Son on our behalf fill you with peace beyond understanding, wrapping you up in His comfort and compassion. I am praying especially tonight that God would cause you to know that He loves you. He is with you. He cares for you. Thank you for leaving a comment here. Praying for you and grieving with you, sister..with love..amanda
amanda recently posted…Finding Rest in Christ: 9 Practical Ways to Abide in God’s Promised Rest
Thank you! Your words strengthen my faith as we have 5 babies in heaven and one here on earth with us. This path has not been an easy one for myself and my husband and we want so badly to have another child. We explained to our daughter after our last lost and she was just so excited that she had siblings even though they were in heaven. She is such an amazing girl! Thank you for sharing your experience and scripture that help you through your journey, it really does give me the strength I will need in the upcoming months when we plan to try again.
Kelli,
Your daughter’s faith and understanding encourages my heart and increases my own faith. How beautiful. I have been praying for you for a couple of days since reading your message. Maybe you’ll be encouraged by this song as I have been lately.. http://youtu.be/YsXMiysZfNQ With love..amanda
amanda recently posted…Finding Rest in Christ: 9 Practical Ways to Abide in God’s Promised Rest
Hi Amanda,
I am so grateful I came through your website via Pinterest. You have such a beautiful spirit and faith. I am also a young mother and God has blessed me with 3 beautiful children. We often read the Bible to the 2 eldest ones and i look forward to teaching them the Gospel as you do with your son. To continuously talk to them about Jesus. How inspiring you are to me!
I have friends who unfortunately are still waiting since years to become a mother and this breaks my heart.
I have sent your website to many friends and hope they will also be touched by your words.
May God bless you and help you to spread His words throughout the world. (it has reached me in Mauritius 🙂 )
Delphine
Delphine, thank you so much for your kind words…..the Lord used you to really encourage me today! I am so grateful that you found my blog all the way in Mauritius! Thank you for taking time to let me know that the Lord inspired you through the blog, and may the Lord richly bless you as you serve Him and trust in Him, friend! <3
amanda recently posted…Finding Rest in Christ: 9 Practical Ways to Abide in God’s Promised Rest
Loved this post. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Allison recently posted…Box of Memories
Thank you so much, Allison.. <3
May God bless you for your words thay I so needed to hear. I have been so mad at the Lord lately. I am 28 married 5 together 6 one miscarriage and years of unexplained infertility. I wanted my grandmother to meet my first child and she passed away on 07-19-2014. Since then the pain in my heart is unbearable. I stopped praying for a child months ago because each month is a heartbreak. Every one around me is getting pregnant and most are unwanted. But reading your wonderful passage has made me realize how much I need the Lord. I know this pain won’t heal without him and I need the Lord in my heart always. I am going to put my faith and worries over to him! Thank you again!
Oh Cassidy, your words touch my heart SO deeply. I grieve your pain and seek the Lord on your behalf that God would grant you faith, strength, and His peace. Those precious babies of your behold the face of God this very afternoon, and may God give you His comfort and minister to you, grieving mother. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your grandmother, too. I lost my grandmother in May. With much love and prayer..amanda
I just stumbled upon your website through pinterest. I often will search for “gospel and miscarriage” with no results. It is such a blessing to me when I find godly wisdom regarding miscarriage! One of my most cherished encouragements is knowing that God lost his Son; He understands my pain to a much farther degree. Thanks!
Beth, thank you for taking a minute to let me know. God keeps bringing me back to the gospel in every area of my life. Oh for grace to trust Him more… <3
Thank you. This is such an encouragement to me.
My husband and I have decided to start a family and it gets very discouraging at times. I was diagnosed with PCOS and so we know what we are up against but knowing doesnt make it any easier when I see others experiencing their joy before us.
Thank you for your testimony.
Candice, it is so hard sometimes, and I will pray for you tonight that God would grant you abundant mercy, bountiful grace, and a peace that is beyond comprehension. Thank you for your sweet comment,. May He bless you with grace to daily rest in His faithfulness and trust Him that HE LOVES YOU…. “…He cares for you..” 1 Peter 5:7 <3
amanda recently posted…Dear Young Single Woman
Thank you for being so open with something so heartbreaking. My husband and I have been through infertility and miscarriage and it is so encouraging to read such a beautifully written post about these issues. Your other blog “trusting God when he breaks your heart” was also so nice to read. I have just found you on Pinterest and I look forward to reading more from you. It has been a huge encouragement just tonight and I thank you for your beautiful words.
Amanda
Amanda, thank you so much for taking time to comment and for your encouraging words. I’m so sorry for the pain you and your husband have been through, and I’m so grateful for the encouragement that God has provided for you. Thank you for following along on the blog, and I look forward to “seeing” you here again 🙂
<3, amanda
I found you on Pinterest and I’m so happy to come across your blog. What a beautiful and hope-centered post you’ve written here. I read A Grief Observed years ago, but now I think I might want to read it again (this time through a lens of infertility). Thank you for sharing a bit of your heart and story. I’m looking forward to following you from now on. Many blessings!
Lisa {Amateur Nester} recently posted…2nd IVF Cycle: Week 1 Update
Lisa, thank you so much for saying hello, and I am so grateful that this post ministered hope and encouragement to you. I feel so rich that God would grant me to minister His comfort as He has lavished so abundantly upon me. <3 Thank you for following along here, and I can't wait to get to know you. ..amanda
Amanda, this is a very powerful article. The desire to be a mom (or already be a mom) and lose a precious unborn child is a painful thing. Your comment regarding the fact that you were thankful for your season of infertility spoke volumes to me. I thought I was crazy saying the same thing throughout the span of 15 years. God truly worked in my heart during each pregnancy loss and I drew closer to Him. He is the giver and taker of life and works everything out for our good. I went through 4 miscarriages and learned many, many lessons(some were easier to learn than others). Throughout those years God has blessed me with 4 children ages 17,13,11, and 5. I have prayed all along that God would use me somehow to be a help and encouragement to others experiencing loss. I do know and feel pain that others have gone through more painful trials than I have. Your article is beautifully written and will be a source of encouragement to other ladies…..thank you
Kim, thank you for sharing with me what God has done in your life. You words remind me of God’s goodness and sovereignty and fill me with hope and encouragement tonight. Thank you so much.. <3 amanda
amanda recently posted…Homemaking {A Most Holy Offering}
I second the recommendation of “When God Weeps” by Joni Eareckson Tada. It’s one I’ve read and reread and constantly recommend.
Thank you, thank you, Amanda, for this God-glorifying post! I’ve dealt with the pain of infertility over the last 8 years of marriage (though God has seen fit to bless us with a daughter in the midst of the struggle!) I appreciate your recommendations and the way you point to the Gospel — our only real help and hope!
Julie recently posted…Glimpses of Glory
I definitely plan to get this book! Thank you for the recommendation. Thanks for your encouraging words, Julie. <3
Thanks for sharing your perspective! How you read when God weeps? I’m reading it now and it’s a hard read (God being sovereign over pain) but a good read.
Caroline, I want to read that book! I’ve heard it is wonderful. <3
Dear Amanda. Your posts are very personal and touching. I am going through the hardest time of my life right now – a loss of our third child and a loss of my fertility. I had two tubal pregnancies.lost both of my tubes.Is there a way ican talk to you in private through email or on the phone? HERE is my email: crytoGod@msn.com thank u – jane
Jane, I am so sorry for your loss. <3 I'm praying for you this evening. You are welcome to send me a private message here: http://www.blessyourheartandhome.com/about-bless-your-heart-and-home/contact-bless-your-heart-and-home/ With love..amanda
amanda recently posted…Infertility, Miscarriage, and the Gospel
This is such a wonder, heart-felt post. After my miscarriage (baby Tybee), the hardest thing for me to do was to go to church. It seemed like mom’s were being honored every time we went, and it was like “The first plunge of the knife into the flesh is felt again and again.”
What a perfect little saying, as it felt like a knife being plunged into my heart anew each time.
My message to churches is to include these women when you honor mothers. We have loved, and continue to love, our lost children as much as any mother.
For me, 1Samuel and Job were my comfort and healing from God. God has since blessed us with 2 beautiful children, and has used me to witness of His unending love and grace to several women in the same circumstance.
Thank you again for your words. I can tell that God has blessed you with wisdom.
Emily, I am so sorry for your loss of baby Tybee. Church was very difficult for me, too (as I write about some here: http://www.blessyourheartandhome.com/faithandinspiration/celebrating-mothers-day-when-mothers-day-is-hard/). I am so thankful for how God comforted you and me and that we now have opportunity to minister to those who grieve (2 Cor 1:3-7). Your words are so kind and bless me so much this morning. <3, amanda
Amanda, You have no idea how much your words mean to me and how they have touched my life. This article especially touched me, because I have experienced your grief and how deeply it hurts. It was for another reason but this article can be applied about how I felt and at times still feel. You are a wonderful writer and wonderful Christian lady. Your love for Christ shines through you and affects more people than you will ever know. I am now thinking of the beautiful story about your grandmother and how that perfectly described her. Thinking back, Amanda, I remember when you were born and how wonderful that day was. Keep up your good work. I look forward to all of your stories!!!!
Oh, your words are so kind, and I am incredibly humbled that God would minister to you through this blog post. Thank you for leaving me a comment, and I am so grateful for your love for my family and me. Love you, amanda
Amanda,
Thank you for your courage and vulnerability. I trust God will use this to comfort someone in need of hope and a spiritual hug.
I’m so sorry for your loss of baby Samuel and Joy.
Hugs to you.
Love you, Mrs. Kerry! <3