Well, Mr. Right is taking his time. You’re a single Christian gal. You’re busy serving the Lord, waiting on God while you tend to the work and life with which He has blessed you. You’d like to get married, and, like most young women, you dream of marrying your best friend, loving him the rest of your days, and sharing a family, life, love, children, and the happiest and saddest of days with the man of your dreams.
And there’s this guy. He’s single, a Christian, godly, and wise. He looks like Mr. Potential — and you like him. But maybe he’s shy, and maybe it looks like he might be very s.l.o.w. to ever make that first move.
What’s a Christian girl to do?
I married my dear husband when I was 22. I didn’t marry straight out of high school, but I also wasn’t knocking on 30 or 40. The waiting and uncertainty during this time in your life is hard, and my heart is tender towards the place where you are. I cheer you on as you seek God in this very important area of life.
My encouragement for your heart, dear sister, as you wait and wonder —
1. Trust the Lord. Wait on the Lord. PRAY. Pray. PRAY. Ask God for a spouse. Tell Him your desires, and ask Him what to do. Seek counsel, but seek your Father’s counsel most of all. People are quick to give you their opinions based on a man-made perfect love story scenario, and that scenario may or may not be God’s will for your life. Be quiet and still and spend time fasting and praying before God.
2. I want you to know that this dream is good and honorable and God-given, inspired by an understanding of God’s design of marriage. Your desires are good. May God bless you for pursuing the things above more than the cute, shy fella you’re stalking on Facebook. Check out Hebrews 13:4.
3. Caution: don’t be the Ecclesiastes 7 woman about whom Solomon has warned your young man. Solomon tells Mr. Potential that he’s discovered that the woman whose heart is snares and nets and whose hands are chains is more bitter than death. He warns him that a sinner will be captured by this kind of woman. As I encourage you about what you do want to do, I bring you to this example to warn you what you do not want to do: do not be a stealthy, manipulative, conniving woman who does not wait on and trust God, and from whom a godly man will escape. (Ecclesiastes 7:26)
Instead, be the 1 Corinthians 7 gal who is concerned about the things of the Lord, pursuing what is pleasing to the Lord by being holy both inside and out (spirit and body) (1 Corinthians 7:34).
Which leads me to a fourth point…
4. Christian sister, don’t forget that purity and holiness are not out of fashion with God. They are out of fashion with the world, your college friends, and maybe your family, but holiness is important to God. 1 Corinthians 6 reminds you that if you are God’s, then your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you and that you are not your own. You have been bought with a price. So, glorify God with your body.
(If you have sinned and have not been holy both in body and spirit, then confess it to God, repent and turn from your sin, and seek His help to serve Him. Praise God for the blood of Jesus that covers all our sin.)
Okay, rubber meets the road. Above I challenge your heart. Now, where will that lead you? What do you do about that shy, cute, godly, sweet, I-hope-he-might-like-me-since-I-know-we-could-be-sensational-together fella? Although each situation is different and I surely believe that godly and wise young women will have occasion to take different courses of action (check out Ruth’s pursuit of Boaz, for example. mind = blown), my sisterly advice and opinion is:
1. Ask God to turn the heart of Mr. Potential towards you. My husband prayed that God would give me a love for him long before I knew he had ever glanced my way. I’ve been head over heels for almost a decade now, so it was definitely a prayer that God answered.
2. It may not feel this way, but time really is on your side. As you wait for that starry, romantic moment to burst forth, waiting and observing is good. You may look back one day on this moment and just shake your head, thanking God that He knew that Mr. Potential wasn’t your Mr. Potential after all. Our problem is usually that we run ahead of God and try to go arrange a lot of things to “help” God get it all together. Waiting, in this instance, is usually a good thing.
3. Another thing to pray is that God would make Mr. Potential bold and obedient to God if God is leading him to pursue a relationship with you beyond just friendship. I want to see that guy stick his neck out for you, girlfriend. Watch God make him a bold, determined young man once he is convinced that God is leading him your way. I promise you, you’ll love him for it more than you ever thought you could.
4. Just don’t do it. Okay, point 4 is part cultural, part Amanda’s opinion, and I believe there is Biblical example for it, too, but don’t be the pursuer. Make him do it. If he’s already a good friend of yours and you need or want to call him, that’s great. Give him a ring. Message him on Facebook. But you know when you’re crossing that line and are going that extra mile since you’ve got that insane crush on him. You know when you just “know better.” So, my friend, back off and don’t try to manipulate the guy — or God.
My sister, HE. IS. ABLE. God is able and willing to bless and help and guide. He doesn’t need your help, and He really means it when He says that He “is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think,” and He will do a work in your life that is worthy to bring praise to His name (Ephesians 3:20). Your future may or may not include Mr. Heart-Throb-Potential, but remember what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 2:9 about God’s plans for those who love Him:
“Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and which have not entered the heart of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him.” You have a bright future, and so do I.
Hang in there, girl. I’m praying for you today.
<3, amanda
This article is part of a series from Bless Your Heart and Home on “Finding Mr. Right.” If you receive encouragement here, we invite you to read our series intro, and parts two, three a & b, and four. ♥, amanda
Suggested reading and resources for your ♥
♥ Passion and Purity, by Elizabeth Elliot (my absolute favorite book when I was a single woman)
♥ Quest for Love, antiquated (and biblical) advice and teaching from Elizabeth Elliot for single women.
♥ Lies Young Women Believe, solid truth from the beloved Nancy Leigh Demoss.
♥ Love and Respect, a biblical book on marriage, changed the course of my relationship and communication with my husband. I wish I would have read it sooner than I did.
♥ Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl, by Paula Hendricks.
♥ Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a hope deferred, by Carolyn McCulley
Bless Your Heart and Home is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com
Next post in this series on Finding Mr. Right:
Honoring God in the Dating Relationship
I first saw this post in 2017. I was going through a separation and eventually divorce from my first husband. I keep coming back to it because it encourages me so. I read it to remind me that God is in control and has good for me. It is also give me a good guide on how to wait.
Thank you for this Amanda. God bless you! I look forward to posting about Gods faithfulness in this area when I do get married again, and on whether the guy I’m currently hoping is my Mr. Potential will turn out to be my Mr. Right! @Marcos
Powerful teaching on Christian marriage! Thanks for sharing. God bless you.
Edet recently posted…Prayer For Restoration Of Marriage
I have a desire and will to seek first God’s kingdom above anything else even marriage after reading: He’s Taking His Time… The article truly blessed me. I am 38 years of age and I have never been married but now God’s kingdom is my priority and I know marriage will come as a result. God bless you and thank you!
New rule:
Marry me and put me on your health insurance. Then I’ll do the dating – the push-and-pull games, the holding back my real thoughts and feelings, etc. I will no longer do a whole lot of work for nothing.
If you don’t want to do this – fine. Then we are just friends. You don’t get to touch me, you don’t get to flirt with me or say romantic things, you don’t get to text me all the time at weird hours. I’m through playing games. If you want to see me, we’ll be just friends and hang out in groups and stuff like that. If you’re not looking for a serious relationship, then go hurt some other woman. I deserve better than to have you play with me and then say, “Just kidding.”
And, God? If you’re reading this….I’m in a bad place today. You might have guessed that. I know you won’t do anything you don’t want to do. So here’s the deal. I will no longer go to a doctor or get any vaccinations. Hopefully, this will shorten my lifespan. I don’t want to live feeling this terrible.
Wow Chandra, I thought I held that record. It’s been about 15 years for me as well since I was in a real relationship. I desire marriage as we and at times I just don’t understand. I have been in several ‘situationships’ but nothing solid. Waiting on God, but at times my heart just gets tired of situationships.
I ran across this. Blog without really looking for it and it is beautiful, on pint, definitely spirit led… I have been “dating” a wonderful Godly man for almost a year now and no commitment. It really bothers me because I want so much more and we are going so slow. Tonight we spoke about it again and again he says he’s waiting on God. Makes me smile but also makes me cry. Why can’t I understand him and respect him for that? Why does it upset me and make me feel rejected.? I’m really struggling with this, I’ve prayed to God for so long for this man and now that I met him, I’m finding myself frustrated. I guess I always imagined that the day God brings him to me it would be easy and natural. Either way, I’ll be saving this blog and coming back to it as an encouragement tool. Thanks for it!
“You may never know that JESUS is all you need, until JESUS is all you have.”
― Corrie ten Boom
This post blessed me so! I have been dating a wonderful man but it is moving very, very very slowly and while I’ve been tempted to stop accepting his innvitations, God is telling me to be patient and remain open. It’s a challenge because the advice of the world says if he’s not pursuing you quickly to move on. But he’s a widower, just getting back into dating and a very Godly man. So as you advise, I will pray pray pray and trust that if it is God’s will he will open this man’s eyes and heart to pursue me and if not, it will be God’s protection because he has something better.
Well the real problem is that so many women nowadays are just very picky when it comes to having a relationship. Well unfortunately many women nowadays just want the very best of all and will never settle for less either. And yet, there are many of us very good men nowadays that are looking for love ourselves as well.
Men are also picky. When was the last time you asked a woman out? Have you overlooked someone in your faith community because she doesn’t look like a celebrity? Maybe she has a few extra pounds or is a different race altogether? Are you that open? Or maybe she’s feminine and patiently waiting for a man to have the courage to simply say hello? If you are one of the “very good men” that you claim to be please make yourself known! I know plenty of virtuous CHASTE women who are waiting for men to step into masculine leadership roles in relationships.
Wow! This piece blessed my heart this morning. I realise the temptation to pursue a guy you think could be the one and ow difficult it is to wait for him to make the move. But i totally agree with you that in the long run i’ll appreciate him more for it.
Thanks so much for this piece of advice. God bless you.
Jessica, Thank you for letting me know how this article encouraged you. Wait for the Lord, and let your heart take courage, sister! ♥ ..amanda
Hey, Amanda 🙂
I just wanted to let you know that I’ve kept this blog post bookmarked, and I go back to it every time I start wondering what to do when I find a man I’m interested in; it’s helped me for such a long time. Every time I read it, God lets another little detail jump out for me to be reminded of. Thank you so much for allowing God to speak through you and for all the encouragement your blog has brought me, especially this series on “Mr. Right”.
Kimberly, it means so much to me for you to let me know this….thank you! What a great blessing to me. Thank you for your encouraging words, sister. <3 ..amanda
I found this article after a random Google search on waiting for the man to pursue. I’ve been battling feelings for a guy friend over a year and they are not going away…I know God arranges the best marriages so I’m trying to be patient but it’s hard when he’s not pursuing, there don’t seem to be many options, and the clock is, as they say, ticking! But I am the most content I’ve ever been despit my circumstances. Please pray that’s God’s be done in my friendship with this gentleman and that he gets some holy boldness if he does feel the same way about me. I am a huge fan of Elisabeth Elliott too and have her well worn books close to my bed for when I need a word of encouragement. God bless you!
I’m so sorry at my late reply. I prayed for you now, girl, and thank you for sharing this with me. Grace in Him <3
Please pray for me. It’s been over 20 years since I have dated and I don’t understand . I know it’s not for me to understand but I desire marriage.
Thank you for this series. I was scrolling through Pinterest tonight after reading Song of Solomon, trying to find strength to patiently wait on a man who loves me like the love in Song of Solomon. I have had really bad breakups that have completely wrecked me (when I commit to someone I commit with every ounce of my being and when that person didn’t work out I was crushed). I have grown a lot since then but I still struggle with being patient. I have very high standards and won’t lower them for anyone because I believe I am worth the Christian man who loves me but God above all. I am judged a lot in college as an Christian student athlete who doesn’t go out and party and sleep around. I am strong in my faith but there are not any guys on campus who are like me. While I know not everyone meets their soulmate in college it’s hard to keep the faith. Thank you for writing this article and encouraging me. I can’t wait to read the rest! God Bless.
Hey girl, I’m sorry I’m so slow to reply to your comment. Although my reply is delayed!, I did want to take a minute to encourage you to press on. I know you feel alone, but remember the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19. He told the Lord that he was the only one left, and this was the Lord’s reply to Elijah (recorded in Romans 11): “I have kept for myself seven thousand men who have not bowed the knee to Baal.” There is a remnant of godly men, Kaleigh, and if God’s design is for you to be married, He will bring you together with a husband in His time and for His glory. Thank you for sharing with me the things that you did — His grace is sufficient for you, sister. <3
How are you? It’s year 2018 and two years pass by…I am curious as hows life going on with you. I am seeking God guidance and on the process of healing coz i just recently had breakup with him. Everyday im praying and ask God to give to me the right guy…its rally hurt me coz i dont know who is the real guy if it will come on my way. Coz my first boyfriend told me i am the most important person and im his destiny..but he broke up with me when we met his mother and told ne his mother dont approve our marriage…im so devastated…year 2018 is my happiest and lowest point in my life…coz i gave everything coz i trust him a lot
Hii Amanda! I know this was written sooo long ago but I read it and it really inspired me! I am in the waiting scenario and have to admit that is not so easy sometimes. I trust the Lord with all my heart, I know things will happen in His timing only and I pray for that. But (there`s always a but,, right?) There are moments when I can´t help it, I just NEED to ask: When??. Mr potencial is right there!, He is amazing and looks like everything I ever prayed for. And by everything I mean EVERYTHING. I guess, like you said, I just have to pray even more and have faith. If he is Mr right God will make it happen, right? If he´s not….well, that´s alright. for me, all that matters is God´s will for my life. Another think that really broke a structure for me is the pursuing part….I`ve never seen the situation in that way. Like…I don´t have to chase him, if He`s the one He`ll pursue me. Quite challenging, I must add…It`s not that I`m a stalker but I have been tempted to talk to him soooooooo many times. Anyway, I really liked this post and the entire blog! Thanks! Blessings from Argentina =)
Hola amiga, gracias por escribirme aca! Carla, take those questions to God in prayer! He can handle your heart’s cry and your “but” and your “when.” Our hearts are so deceitful, and I think it’s usually impossible to even know our own motives, but GOD knows, and ask Him that your interactions with Mr. Potential will honor God and reflect a heart at rest in your Heavenly Father. Love and praying for you this evening from Mississippi. Que Dios le bendiga, mi amiga.. Un abrazo..amanda
Thanks for the answer! I’ll do exactly that. Talk to God and pray for guidance. This issue in particular has always been specially difficult for me. But I have no limitations in Him so that has to change. Abrazos!!!!!
Carla, I feel like such a beginner student of prayer, but God is showing me how He designs that our Christian lives be lived out through powerful, Scripturally-based prayer. Adrian Rogers, a late well-known Christian pastor from the SouthEastern U.S., said, “Gaze at Christ, and glance at your problems.” Begin your prayer in that way! Fix your gaze on our awesome, powerful, holy, and loving God. Using the Psalms, pray to the God revealed to you in Scripture, and as you step through who He is, and seeking His will to be done and His kingdom to come, you will be able to pray more in line with His will and your prayers will be more effective and intimate. Do that in this situation! Learn to pray more than ever! And have you ever read Elisabeth Elliot’s book, “Passion and Purity?” If you like to read, I highly recommend it! Romantic and practical and solid Biblical testimony. 🙂 Much love, amiga. ♥
amanda recently posted…How to Pray for Your Family and Friends
Thank you so much for this post Amanda. I really needed to read this tonight! I have been reminded of the importance to pray, pray, pray for my future husband, rather than wish and hope that Mr. Potential would smile at me or ‘notice’ me. (Laughing at my self right about now). You have truly blessed me with your words of wisdom. Thank you!! x
Thank you for that encouragement! I am so glad that you were encouraged to PRAY after reading this post! Nothing could fill my heart with more joy! Thank you for telling me that! Grace and love in Him, sister… amanda
Love is not a words to says
Love is not a games to play
Love doesn’t start in
April and ends in may
Love is yesterday, tomorrow and forever will you be mine to the external
“…He really means it when He says that He “is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think,” ….” This part really stood out to me. Thank you posting. I’m going to be honest with you, I saw this post on Pinterest and I’ve read a million like it so I wasn’t expecting to be touched by this. But boy was I ever wrong. As soon as I read those words I broke down in tears and just began asking God if it was true. I felt Him in my heart say it was and he would bless me with more than I’ve asked. There’s a part of me that has wondered if he would ever even kinda bless me, times when I’ve wondered if I should settle. But I’m 20 years old and have never dated. I was starting to wonder if I ever would. But reading your words brought hope to my heart. I truely feel that God will bring my Mr. Right to me. Thank you for posting this, sorry for the rambling 🙂
Ephesians 3:21-22! It IS true, Kristen! I so admire your sensitivity to God’s word and His truth! My husband was the first guy I ever dated. God’s plan is unique for all couples, and certainly not every girl marries the first guy that they date! ;))) But when I was 20 years old, I had never dated either. <3 Keep your eyes fixed on Christ, sister! Thank you so much for your encouraging words!
Hi Amanda,
I realise you’ve written this two years ago and it still speaks to me today!! (so …..am not expecting a reply but just wanted to share some thoughts) 🙂 It’s so encouraging to know I’m not going through this alone, by the millions of comments girls from all over the world with the same struggle has left in this post. It is painfully hard, waiting and you reminded me to pray, instead of ‘taking matters in my own hands’, I need to trust God instead. As with all the other comments, there’s a great godly guy I like who’s pretty shy . I have been going through periods of confusion, being angry at myself because I cannot stop this desire….it seems like I’m wanting something God hasn’t given me….this lead me to guilt when time and time again I just could not resist and gave in and initiated conversation with him. And conversations with him led to a lot of day dreaming about this Mr Potential……and the self delusional cycle continues while this poor guy had no idea….I just began to realise recently how ‘work based’ I’ve made this all, relying on my own self control and kicking myself when I can’t stop my human desires.
Thank you so much for just reminding me the power of prayer and its not about praying for myself only that I will overcome temptation but that God will turn my heart according to His will. I’ll be praying for you too! That God will continue to use you to proclaim the good news of our Saviour Jesus Christ every day! 🙂 xxxxx
Ally, what you said here.. “that God will turn my heart according to His will..” That encouraged me so much! Yes! How else will we know how to pray as we ought? How else can we pray according to His will? Where else will we find certain joy?? Thank you for sharing with me all that you did. What a blessing you have been to me! Press on in rest, sister! ..amanda
My advice would be talking to the shy guy bc he might not have the guts to. Nowadays men dont pursue women like they should. Talk to him and let him know that you are interested. Theres nothing wrong w that!
Amanda, you have no idea how much I needed this post. I have a huge crush on this incredible, talented, passionate, intelligent Jesus-loving man, but he is painfully shy! I feel that God has told me that he is my husband…. but He also told me to be still. It is so good to hear you reaffirm my beliefs of being the pursued and not the pursuer. So many of my friends have been like, “Just go for it, girl!” “Go get yo’ man!” LOL But I feel the Holy Spirit say, “You. Stay. Right. There. And trust. And wait.” You made an excellent point when you said you want to see that guy stick his neck out for me in #3. Though he is shy, I do want to see him put his shyness aside for me and I know that if he is my husband, he will. I pray for this man specifically every day and I will continue to do so. After reading your post, I feel encouraged to continue to be patient in trusting God’s timing for the man of my dreams (even if it isn’t this particular man!)
Thank you so much for this post. May God continue to bless you, Amanda!
Simonne, thank you for sharing this with me! Even though now it’s other things in life (not marriage), seasons of waiting are something I still struggle with. May He give you grace to trust Him more! <3 .. amanda
Can I just say that the Lord has truly used you to bless me today? I have gone time and time again to the Internet for answers and advice, but usually are just left more empty, hurting, and lonely than before. However, this time God has used my affections to grow me closer to Him even through the worrying and hurting I struggle with. From the moment I opened your article, a smile came on my face. Your advice is so real and heartfelt! And, it reiterated so many things I think God has been teaching me through this difficult “waiting” time. So thank you, and I can’t wait to read more of your advice. It is awesome to see adult women of the Body truly caring for other sisters (esp. one’s they don’t even know! ☺️). I pray for you today, and I ask that you keep me in your prayers. I would love to ask you questions if you have the time. God bless!
Thank you for this lovely post; it was so encouraging to read. I have recently found myself in a major slump of confusion, and yearning for romance with a Godly man, because it just feels like there is no beep on the radar of love for me right now, haha. This is just a positive reminder to be patient, especially when I want to just throw my hands up and ask “why can’t someone want to pursue me?” – all in God’s time, not mine. Thanks again!
This is exactly what I needed today. I feel like I’ve found the one I’m meant to marry. We’re only friends, but he has everything I have ever wanted in a man: godly, wise, intelligent, funny, and really has a true and pure heart in serving God. But I need to remind myself that God’s timing is perfect, and that I shouldn’t manipulate my situations to make something happen. I just need to leave it to God.
Hi! thank you for this encouragement! lately, I have been down and hopeless that someone will come from the Lord. Being in medical school makes me all the more anxious that this journey will lead me to be single forever, but it is in this waiting period that I learn so much from God. So, thank you and I pray that as you encourage all the other girls out there, that you too may be encouraged in whatever you are facing in your life currently. God bless you more! 🙂
Amanda,
Thank you so much for this post. It was very encouraging. I am going through that exact situation right now! There is a godly man in my life that I am wishing and praying will be the one God has for me… waiting is SO hard and I want to do it well by being cheerful, faithful, and resting in the Lord while I wait. I would love your prayers for this situation. Thank you SO much! =) By the way, I just happened to stumble across your blog today and I absolutely love it and am so thankful that the Lord led me here! <3
Kara recently posted…We Don’t Get to Choose Our Ministry
Kara, I appreciate your encouraging words so much, and I am praying for you this afternoon. May the Lord give you grace to trust Him more….and I am completely confident that He will grant you that grace! Please stay in touch — I’m so happy that the Lord led you here, too! <3
Amanda, not only did I read this post but also all of the comments, prayer requests and cries for help and you- you answered each one purposefully and personally, as if you understand how unbelievably impossible the pain & the emotions that come from Hope Deferred of a Single Woman Waiting. It is clear God has given you His heart on this matter & you are making a difference in many lives all over. Just look at how long ago this post was written and how your words continue to reach the hearts of so many daughters in waiting.
I love this post because I’m proof these prayers are effective. In my “version” God actually turned MY heart to a man who admired me for years & prayed about me being his wife- even talked to our pastor and friends about me, made changes to hear from God and all. I didn’t feel the same desire, until I did. I know he prayed for my heart to turn. And when it did, it was radical & powerful. I made the mistake of being hasty, moving ahead of God and manupulating a man I was so sure God brought into my life. I was so confident I could rule this situation because my friend desired and admired me for so long. I was wrong. Confessing & repenting has been liberating, even now.
And I’m here on the “other side” praying for redemption and simply, another opportunity with that man I called friend & someone I have a deep admiration and hope for. I pray that God will speak to His son about me, make Him bold and that this time, I can wait for him to pursue me since I didn’t wait before. I hope one day I can share the news of our engagement…and our wedding day.
Debra, I am so humbled by your precious message! Thank you for the encouraging words, and I am so moved by your heart and the circumstances which now surround your life and heart. Much love to you in our faithful Father, and I’m praying for you.
Ah God does cool stuff. My dearest guy friend has been a Mr. Potential for several years now, and things are as slow as molasses in February. The quality I treasure the most in him is his heart for God and his steady, spiritually leading friendship. It’s been hard to be patient and I found this article at just the perfect time. I had been praying that God would repress my feelings until the proper time, but it had never occurred to me to pray that Thomas would reciprocate the feelings.
Elizabeth, I am praying for you and your friend, Thomas, right now, that God would use your friendship and relationship to result in praise and glory to His name. May He accomplish His eternal purposes through you as He brings you through this season of waiting and hoping and praying. Thank you so much for your comment.. Much love in our Father. <3
Hello Amanda, I really enjoyed reading your article. Very inspiring! I learned that we should trust God in His every decision to our life. Our job is to wait unto the Lord’s and worship Him while waiting.
Julieane, thank you for taking time to let me know that you were encouraged by this article! <3
Amanda, reading this was like talking to a friend over tea/coffee. Thanks for breaking it down, and sharing your heart and biblically sound advice!
Thank you, Dee! Coffee, for sure! 😉 Your comment really encouraged me, so thank you for taking the time to leave me a message. <3 Love, amanda
Hi Amanda! Thank you so much for writing this! Reading this has comforted me and actually opened my eyes to what I should be doing instead, as a single Christian woman. Sometimes it’s easy to become impatient when it comes to having a soulmate. But then again, maybe sometimes it just gets lonely.
This has made me realize that it’s better to spend my time waiting for Mr. Right by praying and being devoted even more to Him.
Thank you! God bless Xx
Gita, thank you for letting me know that this article was a comfort to you. I just read this article last night…regardless of your age or relationship status, I think it is so encouraging in how to spend your time as a single woman. Much love <3 http://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/seven-tips-for-college-students
Thanks for your advice, just discover I’m in this exact scenario. He’s Godly, shy and Mr. Potiential and we are best of friends. Sometimes I wish he would take it beyond friendship but I try not to be manipulative. I heard from someone that he’s in a serious relationship with a lady, and I’ve been soo disappointed that he never told me and I kept hopes high and prayed for him everyday. Should I just stop the friendship with him?
Oh Hannah, I am so grateful that you took the time to comment here, and I am so sorry I am so late in replying. I am praying right now that the Lord would help and encourage you in this situation, whatever direction it has taken since you last commented here. Much love in Jesus <3
This is wonderful! This is something that I’ve been struggling with greatly. Causing lots of worries and anxiety in my life. I’m only 20, but when all my friends are in relationships and getting engaged, it’s tough. Things just don’t seem to work out like I thought they would. This definitely gives me encouragement though.
Stephanie, thank you for taking time to let me know that you were encouraged by this blog post. Praying for you right now that God would fill your heart with much peace and assurance to rest in Him. <3 Much love in Jesus.
Thank you so, so much for this article! Exactly what I had to read at this point in time. You really touched my heart in a million ways I can’t describe – all praise to God!
Alyssa, I am so thankful! Thank you for sharing that with me — you really encouraged me! <3
Thanks for your words Amanda, it really helped. Please pray for me that I fully trust Him on this waiting and that Mr. Right will come at God’s timing. On the meantime, I’ll follow your advices 🙂
Nancy
Praying for you right now, Nancy.. {hugs}
I feel it’s harder for the girl who didn’t wait. She deals with so much gulit. She feels abandoned by God because she compromised herself. How can God love her when she has sinned. At least the pure girl got a chance right? At least she’ll be able to have the confidence that because she held on God will reward her.
Sigh…
Deb, your words really resonate with me, and I hope to write a more expansive reply soon (hopefully an entire blog post devoted to just this thing). But Deb, God is pleased with the woman who trusts in Him, not the woman who makes no mistakes. It is those who are sick who need the Great Physician, and we have the promise that if we confess our sin to God, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all iniquity (1 John 1:9). He is our righteousness, even when our wayward heart is filled with guilt and grief over our sin. Thanks so much for commenting here, and I hope to write more about this topic soon. <3
You just don’t know how much this really touched my heart!! I don’t even know how I came to look at this lol! One second I’m looking at dresses on Pinterest and the next I’m reading something I really need to read! I know that God is in control and this just confirmed it! It is really tough being single and christian. Being surrounded by friends who are either in a relationship or married doesn’t make it any easier. I found a guy who is single and a christian, but I messed things thinking he was too good to true. He had many things that I had asked God for in a guy and I just kept insisting it was too good to be true. Now we are not on speaking terms, but there is something that just runs through my mind over and over. He once told me that He knew that I was the one he was going to marry and all he was praying was for God to show me as well. I don’t know what to think, but I do miss him. I guess I’ll just have to wait, God knows who has for me!
But your article was truly what I needed! THANK YOU!! I can see God using you in many great ways, keep strong in your walk with him and he will show you his wonders for your life:)
God Bless You!
Hey girl, can I just say how impressed I am with how you graciously and boldly share God’s truth and love. I don’t know your story, but it is evident that God has marked you. You write with an honesty, confidence, and compassion that speaks of having experienced God’s lovingkindness in a special way. I truly appreciate how you’ve responded to each woman. You are a blessing.
My sweet mentor shared this post with me via Pinterest. I am a single gal in my 30s. The dream of crossing paths with My Mister can seem to be easy to carry and at other times feels like a burden. Right now, this dream is light and hopeful. I can testify to the steadfastness of the Lord’s mercy. The sense of relationship, partnership, and community that I have needed …he has always provided. Maybe not the way I would have wished, but that does not diminish the love and strength shared in these relationships. Through them I have gained a solid understanding of my value. Almighty God, Creator of the Universe, created and shaped me, lovingly, intentionally, and purposefully. His son sacrificed his life for me to ensure a loving relationship forever, literally. No Mister can touch that.
Singleness has it’s challenges. The enemy likes to use it to break down the belief that I am valuable. He likes to break down that message for all women, married or single, mothers or not, young and old. In those moments, I correct the enemy by listening for the Lord’s singing. Because he delights in us. He sings over us and dances (Zeph 3:17). We are precious to him, honored, and loved (Is 43:4).
I’m afraid I’ve gotten carried away. Sorry not sorry 🙂 Thank you for sharing your platform. Blessings to you, sister.
Cristina, thank you for commenting and praising the Lord with me. Your words lift my heart this morning, as you are a vessel of God’s grace to point me to the cross and the Lord’s love for us. I’m so grateful to read your testimony, and you didn’t get carried away a bit….preach on, sister!…you have been a great blessing to me! <3
Amanda,
I am SO thankful that I came across this post on Pinterest ! I have friends and family who joke with me about me never finding someone because I’m shy and I get nervous and it takes me awhile to become comfortable enough to even approach new people. I sometimes wonder if having a husband and family is in God’s plans for me … then I have to remind myself that he knows the desires of all of our hearts and will allow things to happen in his own timing. I loved how you mentioned allowing Mr Potential to pursue ME rather than going after him… since that would be after my comport zone anyways haha What a relief!!! Thank you
Girl, I am the queen of nervous and awkward! If and when God gives you a husband and a family, may you give Him all the glory and credit for His gift to you. And as He calls you now to continue living as a single woman, may He show you how to walk as prescribed in 1 Cor 7:34 — concerned about the things of the Lord, that you may be holy both in body and spirit.. <3
I am so thankful I ran across this post! 5 or 6 years ago I felt lead to begin praying for the man God has for me. Last January on a Sunday morning I went up for prayer after a message about claiming God’s promises. Naturally I automatically thought of what I had been praying so diligently about. Long story short my pastor prayed over me and gave a word that the desires of my heart would happen that year and that I needed to keep my spiritual eyes open. I kept expecting and waiting on God the entire year of 2014. To this day, nothing has come to pass. I have understandingly become discouraged. I’m not mad at God. I’m just confused. I’m desperate for some sign that I haven’t been forgotten. I still pray for that man He has for me. I won’t stop even when I’m blessed with having him. I’m asking for prayer. I ask for unspoken prayer with people at church, but here I can ask for my prayer outright without the fear of embarrassment. Everyone understands here 🙂
Kasandra, regarding prayer for you, you’ve got it, girl! I have taken a few days to get back with you, as what you wrote really disturbed me, and my heart is so full for what you are walking through! As I do not know all of your situation or what your pastor prophesied exactly, I want to tread cautiously, but it’s spiritually serious to claim to give a “word” from God that does not come to pass. God did not give you a spouse last year, but I don’t believe it’s because you didn’t have your “spiritual eyes open” carefully enough or didn’t believe hard enough. Regarding claiming promises, this is a great “jumping off” article about how to claim promises and know which ones God intends for you to claim and how: http://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/which-promises-are-for-me
How wonderful that you have been praying for so long for the man God has for you. What a blessing you already are to that man!, and what an important way to constantly be taking this issue before the Lord.
Kasandra, this is a hard thing to hear, but God has not promised a husband and family to every young woman. He has promised to never leave you. He has promised that He will always be with you and that He will always love you. He has promised you eternal life if you have trusted in Jesus for the forgiveness of your sins. And, married or single, when you are an old woman 😉 you will testify that God never forsakes His own (Psalm 37:25). The “sign” that God has not forgotten you is the gospel, Kasandra. You can look with eyes of faith to the Son of God crucified on your behalf and know that God has not forgotten you. He gave His own Son for you, and He calls you to trust Him. Faith is believing God at His Word, even when (and especially when) you can’t see any earthly sign or signal from heaven. I talk about this some in these two articles that I wrote. I know that they pertain to a different situation than what you are in, but the truths remain, and I hope they encourage you. http://bit.ly/1q4D55i & http://bit.ly/1zDODgw
With love, and I am praying for you! <3 amanda
Hi. Please stop waiting to be found and actually be proactive and look. If you are interested in the guy then talk to him. There is no shame in doing that. I know a lot of people who were not proactive in looking for someone that they now have been single their entire lives. so maybe the reason that you have not found anyone is b/c you need to take action. I believe that God can bless us when we are being smart and can move through us. He can work through us if we are doing nothing to be found.
Thanks. You are confirmed my dream that God showed me the other night.
Amanda, Thank you for taking the time to write this. Watching friends get married, get in and out of relationships and many other things, makes it’s so hard yet easy to wait in God. Reminded that He is faithful in all this and promises to give us the desires of our hearts of its in accordance with his will, we must only ask. Thankful for the great reminders in your post as I wait on the Lord and help encourage other gals who are struggling with the same thing. Indeed He is Able! Just takes a lot of time and patience and Growing as he prepares us for something far greater than we expect. Excited for what God has in store for me and all these other gals!
Kaylin, your heart of expectation and trust in God encourages me! God is intimately involved in the details of your life and those to whom He allows you to minister, and He will work a beautiful story for His glory as He tenderly cares for you. <3 Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me a note!
I truly appreciate this post. I too found this article on Pinterest and am so glad I did! I have been waiting for Mr. Right for several years (sometimes patiently…sometimes not!). I have had a couple Mr. Potentials, that have been good men, but for whatever reason, they weren’t Mr. Right. I feel that God has his reasons for me to wait, even though it is sometimes confusing and overwhelming. I need to be joyful in The Lord and trust that He has a plan for me that is better than I can imagine. I don’t currently have a Mr. Potential and am not in pursuit of him. I hope that with prayer and patience, God will provide when the time is right. Thank you for this post…I needed to hear this today 🙂 Always appreciate prayers!!
Amanda, I am praying for you right now! As uncertain and hard as this time in your life can be, I have no doubt that you will look back on these years and have opportunity to proclaim the faithfulness and goodness of God. May He work in you mightily for His glory and His fame. <3
Thank you so much for this post. It was exactly what I needed to read. Very encouraging. I know that if I live for God and pray and trust in God and his timing. And if it is his will he will turn the heart of my Mr. Potential towards me.
Rebecca, I am praying for you right now as you wait on Him and trust His heart of love for you. He loves you so much and is working in your life for His glory. <3
Amanda,
I am literally amazed how God works.I found this article from a Pinterest search! I just graduated college in May and never dated up until this point. I met this guy from my new church a few months back and right now he is my Mr. Potential. Its been a long time since I’ve had a Mr. Potential. I have been really struggling with waiting and staying patient for him to make a move. Your article was EXACTLY what I needed to hear! You nailed it on the head! Thank you so much for the encouragement and I’m excited to see God’s future plans for my life whether or not Mr. Potential is my Mr. Potential.
In Christ,
Allison
Allison, I am so thrilled that the Lord would bring you here through one of my favorite getaways…pinterest! 😉 I’m praying for you right now as you seek to wait on the Lord and seek Him. <3
This article really encouraged me. There is no fella on the horizon for me, and I’ve even given online dating a try, but it just didn’t feel right. I know that I need to wait for God’s timing, and He will bring the right man into my life in His timing, according to His plan. Your article has encouraged me to pray and draw closer to God while I wait. Thank you.
Jessica, “draw near to God, and He will draw near to you..” Whatever stage of life you are in, this never changes! Thank you so much for your encouraging comment, and may the Lord give you abundant grace and wisdom in this new year! <3
“He. Is. Able.” These three words really stood out to me and made me realize that, hey, He is God after all! He doesn’t need my help to make things happen. My part is just to rest in Him and pray. Mr Potential or not, my Daddy God knows best and will give me the best. Really enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing! I have been blessed 🙂
Eve, I am sorry for the delayed reply, but thank you so for the reminder to ME, too, in my crazy life this past month that HE IS ABLE. Thank you for taking time to let me know that this article was a blessing to you! <3
Thank you for sharing this, It really helped me. I would like prayer for clarity while I wait.
I’m praying for you, girl! <3 Thanks for your sweet comment.. amanda
amanda recently posted…Finding Rest in Christ: 9 Practical Ways to Abide in God’s Promised Rest
Hi Amanda,
Thank you for this post. May you intercede for me in your prayers. I was dating a godly man that pursued me just the way I prayed a man would. We dated for 4 months and in the midst of it I felt God’s presence, however; I fell and got distracted by a guy at school who I was flatter was giving me attention, and I grew confused when my friends were saying they didn’t think the timing was right to be with my boyfriend at the time as a storm came my way with family troubles along with the stress of nursing school. I broke things off out of respect to him and in hopes of receiving clarity from God when he began to mention the potential of marriage. My eyes have been cleared and he is what I desire. I’ve learned so much by this break up, as far as God’s grace being faithful with emotions, seeking God’s opinion first before others, and how the enemy never stops working. May you pray that my feelings are in line with God’s and that I wait patiently for His timing. And if it is His will that He empowers Mark to repursue me with confidence and confirmation from our Heavenly Father. Also that I may be able to forgive myself about getting distracted and breaking things off. I pray that if it is God’s will that God brings us together for His glory and that we glorify Him in our relationship.
Anna, I have been praying for you for several days (I’m sorry for the delayed reply…I’ve been “under the weather” for a bit). As I’ve pondered what you wrote and also sought the Lord on your behalf, I want to encourage you to hold your dreams (Mark, marriage, the future..) in your hand on an open palm. Seek God and ask Him to turn your heart and Mark’s heart in the direction of His will and leading, and then, as you commit to God your dreams and desires, hold your dreams loosely, willing for God to give or to take. Thank you for sharing with me what is going on in your life, and I’m praying for you. With love..amanda
amanda recently posted…Finding Rest in Christ: 9 Practical Ways to Abide in God’s Promised Rest
So very grateful for your blog post! “Ask God to turn the heart of Mr. Potential towards you.” – this one line inspires me to pray a different prayer for my future mate. It’s been many long years of waiting on God’s timing and His plan but I have also received confirmation along the way. He is working and He is good. And His plan is still in effect for my life as I wait and obey. 🙂
“He is working and He is good” — amen!! Thank you for that encouragement, Debbie! May the Lord perform His good pleasure in your life and cause you to be conformed ever more to the image of His holy and beautiful Son. With love.. <3
Thank you so much for writing this! As a young Christian woman, who is also a missionary, it can be easy to “lose hope” that the Lord will provide a mate for me. But I know his timing is perfect. Your words were very encouraging to read, and thanks for the tips on what to do in the mean time 🙂 Be blessed!
Sally, I am so grateful that God encouraged your heart by what you read. He. Is. Able. May He bless you to serve Him as you minister the gospel. You are on my heart tonight, and I am praying for you. <3
Amanda,
I am in high school and have always felt love sick for my Mr Potential. Your words really spoke to me and encouraged me to trust God, which has been my latest struggle. Thank you for your understanding and encouragement. God Bless♥
Allie, thank you for letting me know that you were encouraged by reading this. I’m going to pray for you today that God will strengthen you to trust Him as He calls you to wait patiently on Him. His Word and will are worth your trust. <3
amanda recently posted…Mommy Is a Zombie (and other such opportunities for worship)